From Passive Inaction to Proactive Creation

How often have you felt victimized by other people’s negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, hate, or even power plays? Have you felt that helplessness wash over you as you watched them and did not have a clue about how you should respond. Or have you been on the other end of the spectrum and demonstrated with loud voice and actions just how unfair you thought their actions or words were? 

Instead of becoming a victim of circumstance, wouldn’t it be lovely if you could choose to be in control of all the situations around you? If you were seen, heard, valued, supported and understood by everyone whom you had interactions with? Guess what? You can actually take charge of your own life and everyone in it and everything that happens to you!

Change Your “Interpretation”

Every situation that you become involved in arises not just from what the other people around you do, but also from how you react to it. Take for example a simple everyday occurrence such as entering the door and bumping into another person trying to go through the same door at the same time. This could happen in the house with a family member, in the office with a colleague from work, or with a total stranger in a shop in the mall.

Now examine the reactions you give to each of these individuals. The family member will get an exasperated, “Why can’t you watch where you are going?” There may be irritation in the voice and barely disguised hostility. The work colleague will get a rough, “Sorry” as you barrel away to whatever task you are undertaking. However the total stranger in the mall will get a smile and a “I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.” He will probably reply with a smile and an “it’s alright,” as you both head away from each other.

Notice how courteous you were to the total stranger and how rudely you spoke to your family member? The situational “bump” was exactly the same in both the cases, but what changed the circumstances were your different reactions to it. You want to be thought of as a nice person, so you go out of your way to make the words spoken to a stranger sweet, but are you really such a nice person when you cannot be civil tongued to a member of your family whom you profess to love?

Create What You Want

Think about it, the stranger is in your life for a few minutes, the family member for life! Who should you be more courteous to? Wouldn’t it make more sense to proactively be nicer to people who are going to be round for the longest time in your life, rather than taking them for granted? Create the kind of loving relationships that you wish to foster by being proactive in your responses to the people who matter the most.   

Affirm that you will always react in a positive and helpful manner to everyone you love, to everyone who matters in your life. Then observe the difference in the way your life’s situations unfold.