Are You Feeling Unappreciated?

Each of us relies on other people in our lives to help us feel loved, wanted and appreciated. We wait for others to heal our lives. Unfortunately in many cases we feel that the other person in the relationship is not appreciating the effort and actions we take. This results in a little pity party that we invite ourselves to. Here we begin to feel bad for ourselves and start blaming the other person for not doing more than they already do. 

This is where the downwards emotional spiral begins. To stem this emotional whirlpool you need to take charge of your emotions. This is the point you need to check in consciously and ask yourself, if I am unhappy with the way things are right now what can I do to change them? Here is a simple exercise to help you find a balance in your relationships. 

Creative Visualization

When you have some free time sit down peacefully and close your eyes. Now concentrate on your breathing till you feel calm and settled. From this seat of peace and tranquility think of the person who does not seem to appreciate you the way you wish to be appreciated. Think about the last situation involving this person that caused you to get upset. Feel the emotions that swept through you, acknowledge them, and ask them to leave your energy system.

Now think about different ways that you could have handled this situation where the end results would be you feeling happy and loved. Think of the words that you and the other person could have spoken. Create actions that you could have taken and imagine what reactions the other person would have had. You can use this for more than one situation or person. Use this visualization as often as you like, just consciously move from negative to positive energy.

Understand that Perfection is a Myth

Very often we get influenced by media blasted images of true love, and perfect relationships. These unnaturally happy images in our head make us feel that our current relationships are not good. Each individual is flawed, yes you are not perfect either. Then how can you expect a relationship involving two people to be perfect all the time. There will be ups and downs in the relationship based on what each individual is going through in their personal lives.

Accept that life is constantly changing and that we can never hope to have absolute control over anything but our own reactions. Change the reactions you give to others and the way they feel about you will also change. So be the difference you want to see. If you want others to appreciate you, tell them that you love it when they do something and  appreciate it. No one is out to vindictively spoil your day by not appreciating the food you cooked, the work report you submitted or the gift you gave someone. 

When you do something nice for a person, smile and send out positive energy to them. Then you can receive the same positive energy back from the universe multiplied many times. So if you want to be appreciated by others, start appreciating them first. The rest will follow as naturally as the Law of Attraction works its magic into your life.

From Passive Inaction to Proactive Creation

How often have you felt victimized by other people’s negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, hate, or even power plays? Have you felt that helplessness wash over you as you watched them and did not have a clue about how you should respond. Or have you been on the other end of the spectrum and demonstrated with loud voice and actions just how unfair you thought their actions or words were? 

Instead of becoming a victim of circumstance, wouldn’t it be lovely if you could choose to be in control of all the situations around you? If you were seen, heard, valued, supported and understood by everyone whom you had interactions with? Guess what? You can actually take charge of your own life and everyone in it and everything that happens to you!

Change Your “Interpretation”

Every situation that you become involved in arises not just from what the other people around you do, but also from how you react to it. Take for example a simple everyday occurrence such as entering the door and bumping into another person trying to go through the same door at the same time. This could happen in the house with a family member, in the office with a colleague from work, or with a total stranger in a shop in the mall.

Now examine the reactions you give to each of these individuals. The family member will get an exasperated, “Why can’t you watch where you are going?” There may be irritation in the voice and barely disguised hostility. The work colleague will get a rough, “Sorry” as you barrel away to whatever task you are undertaking. However the total stranger in the mall will get a smile and a “I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.” He will probably reply with a smile and an “it’s alright,” as you both head away from each other.

Notice how courteous you were to the total stranger and how rudely you spoke to your family member? The situational “bump” was exactly the same in both the cases, but what changed the circumstances were your different reactions to it. You want to be thought of as a nice person, so you go out of your way to make the words spoken to a stranger sweet, but are you really such a nice person when you cannot be civil tongued to a member of your family whom you profess to love?

Create What You Want

Think about it, the stranger is in your life for a few minutes, the family member for life! Who should you be more courteous to? Wouldn’t it make more sense to proactively be nicer to people who are going to be round for the longest time in your life, rather than taking them for granted? Create the kind of loving relationships that you wish to foster by being proactive in your responses to the people who matter the most.   

Affirm that you will always react in a positive and helpful manner to everyone you love, to everyone who matters in your life. Then observe the difference in the way your life’s situations unfold.