Simple Strategies to Boost Your Relationships

One of the most talked about issues that people would like to improve is relationships. Sometimes its intimate and close relations like that of spouse, parents, children, et al can do with improvements. Our relationships are an important part of how we define and see our own selves.  When we have happy, healthy, nurturing relationships our lives are more enriched and filled with satisfaction. Here are some simple strategies that can be used to boost any relationship. 

Appreciation

By simply acknowledging the fact that you appreciate some quality, trait, behaviour pattern, or action taken by a loved one, you are on the path top generating a very positive relationship with them.  If you create a pattern of appreciation and gratitude it promotes more positive interactions between the two of you.  Think how much you would enjoy being appreciated for each little think you do for a loved one, and begin to appreciate the little things that they do for you.

Understanding

There is nothing a person wants more than to be understood. Are you constantly being annoyed by your loved one. By listening to your loved one’s rational and reasons for certain behaviours, you will be able to put away your irritations. Think of how many times you have said the words, “I don’t understand why you thought doing this would help.” Or “What did you think you were doing?” Simple communication helps in understanding a person.

Acceptance

The next step is of course to accept what your loved one does. Once you understand why they behave in a certain manner, you may not always agree with them. Still you need to accept that it is the way they act because it is the way they need to. This acceptance of a person goes a long way in establishing a loving and trust filled bond.

Nurturing

It is not enough to merely be a by stander. Once you have accepted the person, you must also put some time and effort into developing a stronger relationship with them. You need to nurture a relationship with a person just as you would nourish a plant you are growing with sunlight and water. Not to mention the occasional serving of fertilizer. Yes, you quite literally have to put up with some BS to nurture the relationship.

Repairing

As with every aspect of our lives sometimes things will go wrong, get broken or fall apart. That’s where you need to step up and begin repairing the damage done to the relationship. It takes two to play ball but if you can learn to forgive, get rid of your ego and be willing to give it a shot, so will the other person.

Growing Together

Both parties will make mistakes, but both also have the option of learning from said mistakes and making the relationship bond stronger. Remember what we create within is mirrored in our existence. So learn and grow together. Figure out what works for the two of you. Each relationship is unique and you have to figure out the best way to keep things on an even keel.

Affirmation – “All my relationships are filled with love, trust and mutual respect.”

Breathe Life into a Toxic Relationship

Sometimes you may feel that the relationships that are closest to you are the ones that are turning the most toxic. They leave you feeling heavy hearted and drained. The joy you once felt in spending time with that person is now diminished by petty squabbling. The love that you expressed so freely once is now getting stifled behind the wall of expectations that you have erected.  You would like to fix it, but you have no idea where to start.

You Start With Yourself!

The world as we experience it is nothing more than an extension of our own thoughts. Our manner of thinking affects everything. If you believe that a person is out to get you, you will begin to suspect ulterior motives for every action that person takes. If you believe that a person is out to harm you, you will automatically become jumpier around the person. So if you believe that an old loving relationship has turned toxic, then it is again you, who is turning the thoughts in that negative direction.

Love also must come first from within.

When you begin accepting love and joy into your life you change the way you think. If you are sure in your heart that the world is a loving place and that you are safe to be your true self here, you will experience a drastic shift in the way your so called toxic relationship is going. Begin with loving yourself. Say the simple but popular affirmation that Louise Hay has given you, “I love and approve of myself.” Say it to yourself in front of a mirror each time you cross one. Say it to yourself a hundred times a day. Say it when you close your eyes at night to sleep. Say it till you well and truly believe it.

 Be your own best friend

Stop expecting the other person to fix all your problems. Be self reliant, its not someone else’s job to look after you all the time. Know your boundaries with the other person. Don’t expect to do something for them in order to have them do something in return. That will always make you feel short changed and cheated. If you want to do something out of a desire from your heart, go ahead, but don’t feel guilty and do stuff. Keep the promises you make, especially the ones that you make to yourself. Remember if you are being good to yourself, you expect others to be good to you too.

Trust, respect, protectiveness, and love all go together. That said, it is never a one way street, both people have to be equally committed to the relationship to make it work. Make yourself available for the person with whom you are having relationship issues. Communicate how you feel and also listen to why they are behaving in the manner that they are. Give and take is the best way to solve any situation. A healthy compromise can go a long way in fixing a toxic relationship.

Making Sense of Toxic Relationships

We are all nice people. We like to think that we mean no harm to anyone around us, so we get puzzled and bewildered when someone in our circle is belligerent and rude. In each relationship all we wish to do is be heard, understood and appreciated. Unfortunately we are very often disappointed in the way some people respond to us.  We end up wondering why such toxic people are part of our lives. No one in their right minds will attract such people, so it falls to reason that we need to do something to fix our mindset.

Your Relationships are a Reflection of Your Beliefs

Do you have a poor self image of yourself? Do you feel that you are not deserving of what a perfect relationship is defined by? Everything in your life is a direct manifestation of your own thoughts. You may say that you cannot control the behavior of so and so person, but in truth you do. That person is reacting to you the way you have willed them to react. We don’t take responsibility for what we have done. We give away our power and pretend that we never had it in the first place. Sometimes we even enjoy playing a victim. You need to accept that every relationship that you find toxic is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself in context with the specific person.

Create the Perfect Relationship with Yourself to Manifest it with Others

The idea behind having perfect relationships with everyone else is to ensure that you have a perfect relationship with yourself. If you find forging relationships frustrating, challenging and heartbreaking, perhaps you do not understand what you are looking for yourself. When you understand and love yourself, you are in a better position to figure out your fears.  Only then can you accept yourself unconditionally and then move on to accepting others in your life. Everyone who comes into your life with a challenging relationship is there to teach you something new about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses.  

Take Back the Power to Create Your Perfect Relationships

As you think, so it shall be. No one but you are to praise for your perfect relationships and no one but you are to blame for your toxic relationships. If you accept the good in yourself you will also attract good people, but till you resolve your issues of fear, anger and frustration, you will continue to attract people who raise these issues for you all though the relationship. The power to love yourself is in your own hands. Unconditional love for yourself will result in the Law of Attraction bringing you relationships with people who give you unconditional love as well. Reclaim the power to make your toxic relationships terminate. Instead begin fresh relationships with these same people coming from a space of love and light.

Affirm to yourself: “I give and receive love, joy and respect in all my relationships.”

Ways to a Happier Inner Self

The only way to be happy is to make peace with yourself. No matter how many material things you manage to buy, no matter how many people look up to you for financial advice, no matter how many people you look to for approval, if you do not live a life that reflects the truth of who you really are, you will not be happy.

Live Your Truth

Begin with self acceptance. You are made a certain way. Be it physically as a body type, or mentally as a thinking soul. This is the essence of who you are. You can always work on yourself to improve, but accept who you are to begin with. Now acknowledge that you have certain desires, aims, and passions. Remember these are not the goals that have been thrust upon you by your loving family or society. These are the inner self’s desires, what your heart really and truly would like to do. The small things that make you happy and keep you content. Find out what they are and then devote more time to them.

Follow Your Intuitive Guidance

Your higher self, I Am consciousness, or inner soul, no matter what you call it, is a great source of guidance. When you face a doubt about your life purpose, or simply want to know which of the choices facing you is a better option to undertake, call in this inner guidance to come and tell you what you should do. This gut feeling, or intuition is usually the right way to go. Remember it will be a loving feeling and not one that causes you fear. It may challenge you to work harder, do better, but it will never ask you to put yourself in harm’s way. That is not guidance its premonition.

Cultivate Your Talents

Every soul on earth has a special gift from God. A talent which makes it easy for you to do something while others struggle with it. This is a gift that you are here to share with the world. These soul gifts are natural and do not have to be learnt. You can teach them with ease to others who are interested in them. Take the time to honour your talent by honing it. Spend time doing this pleasurable activity and developing it further. The more effort that you give to your talent the more joy and rewards it will bring to you.

Indulge in Self Love

In a society always looking outwards for the next big thing, we forget that the biggest thing is ourselves. Ease out the personal suffering through love. There is truly no greater medication for any sort of conflict that we may face with ourselves or with others. Cull out the drama from your life and show others how much you love them. Stay away from conflicts and make the important people in your life understand that you love them, no matter what they do. Trust that their higher selves will make them behave better straight away. Love yourself and the world will bring back that love to you.

Are You Feeling Unappreciated?

Each of us relies on other people in our lives to help us feel loved, wanted and appreciated. We wait for others to heal our lives. Unfortunately in many cases we feel that the other person in the relationship is not appreciating the effort and actions we take. This results in a little pity party that we invite ourselves to. Here we begin to feel bad for ourselves and start blaming the other person for not doing more than they already do. 

This is where the downwards emotional spiral begins. To stem this emotional whirlpool you need to take charge of your emotions. This is the point you need to check in consciously and ask yourself, if I am unhappy with the way things are right now what can I do to change them? Here is a simple exercise to help you find a balance in your relationships. 

Creative Visualization

When you have some free time sit down peacefully and close your eyes. Now concentrate on your breathing till you feel calm and settled. From this seat of peace and tranquility think of the person who does not seem to appreciate you the way you wish to be appreciated. Think about the last situation involving this person that caused you to get upset. Feel the emotions that swept through you, acknowledge them, and ask them to leave your energy system.

Now think about different ways that you could have handled this situation where the end results would be you feeling happy and loved. Think of the words that you and the other person could have spoken. Create actions that you could have taken and imagine what reactions the other person would have had. You can use this for more than one situation or person. Use this visualization as often as you like, just consciously move from negative to positive energy.

Understand that Perfection is a Myth

Very often we get influenced by media blasted images of true love, and perfect relationships. These unnaturally happy images in our head make us feel that our current relationships are not good. Each individual is flawed, yes you are not perfect either. Then how can you expect a relationship involving two people to be perfect all the time. There will be ups and downs in the relationship based on what each individual is going through in their personal lives.

Accept that life is constantly changing and that we can never hope to have absolute control over anything but our own reactions. Change the reactions you give to others and the way they feel about you will also change. So be the difference you want to see. If you want others to appreciate you, tell them that you love it when they do something and  appreciate it. No one is out to vindictively spoil your day by not appreciating the food you cooked, the work report you submitted or the gift you gave someone. 

When you do something nice for a person, smile and send out positive energy to them. Then you can receive the same positive energy back from the universe multiplied many times. So if you want to be appreciated by others, start appreciating them first. The rest will follow as naturally as the Law of Attraction works its magic into your life.

Words Matter : Make Yours Healing Ones

Those familiar with the philosophy of Louise Hay as described in her Heal Your Life workshops are well aware that what words run through your mind and come out of your mouth have a profound effect on your physical body and your life. A set of angry words spoken to you harshly will give rise to turbulent thoughts in your mind. The body also gets agitated and feels a sense of misplaced purpose. Mismatched coordination of limbs may also be a side effect of the distraction you face due to this. A negative word does a lot of harm and that is why even when we frame our affirmations we ensure that we avoid words with negative connotations.

Why are Words Important?

We communicate our thoughts, desires, decisions and feelings using words. The words we use in a situation may change given the mood or state of mind we are in. The ability of words to affect our moods is extremely strong. Words act as magnets to attract whatever they denote into our life. When we hear someone saying “I love you” pleasant hormones race through our mind and body and give us pleasure. The reverse is also true for us when someone criticizes us for our behavior, or appearance. Each word we say is like an arrow shot from the bow that we can never take back. This makes it important to always aim true with the words that we use.

Doctors Agree About the Power of Words

What we have known through instinct and self awareness is now also being documented diligently by the scientific community. Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman write in their book Words Can Change Your Brain “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.” Positive words, such as “peace” and “love,” can alter the expression of genes, strengthening areas in our frontal lobes and promoting the brain’s cognitive functioning. They propel the motivational centers of the brain into action, according to the authors, and build resiliency. Now that we have medical evidence about the power of words, we must strive to keep our words positive and healing.

Making Healing Words a Part of Your Life

It is not difficult to ensure that you always speak encouraging and positive words. The habit of always thinking before you speak will help you catch and eliminate any words that may cause a catastrophic effect on your immediate world. Speak as you would be spoken to and ensure that all conversation comes from a loving heart. This is not to say that you can never criticize anyone or point out glaring faults. If someone is doing harm to themselves or other by using negative words, you must point it out to them. Just do it from a loving heart space and the best words to explain the problem to the person will automatically come to you.

Affirm to yourself – “I always speak loving and healing words.”

Building Loving Relationships to Heal Your Life

The relationships you have in your life are a good gauge of the quality of your life. The more loving relationships you have with others the healthier you are. The more negative and energy zapping relations that you have in your life, the unhappier you are. A lot depends on you and your attitude to determine the kind of relationships you attract to yourself. 


Is Everyone Out to Get You?

Some people are always complaining about the quality of people who come into their lives. To hear them speak one would think that the universe conspires to send every cheat, low brow, hoodwinker and trickster to interact with them. Now those of us who study the Law of Attraction know that nothing happens by chance, as everything we experience we attract into our lives.

So the actual problem is that these people are so busy thinking the worst of people who come into their lives or worry so much about meeting the wrong kind of people who will take advantage of them, that they repeatedly manifest such people in their lives. Since such people show up repeated in their lives, they feel justified in having suspicious natures. It is a vicious circle that they can not break through. 

Beating the Vicious Circle with Love

The way to draw loving people into your life is to radiate love to those whom you come in touch with. For any sensible person it is difficult to imagine that a person committing a fraud  may decide not to do so just because you send him or her loving energy waves. It seems too simplistic a solution, but we know that it is possible. When you expect the worst of people you are not disappointed when they let you down.

However when you expect the best of people you somehow make them unwilling to disappoint you. The person concerned feels that he or she can not let you down, and so automatically goes on their best behaviour where you are concerned. Try it! The next time you feel someone is about to rip you off, send them loving thoughts such as I know you will do your best by me or I trust you to do what is correct in this situation. You may have some interesting things to observe.

Overcome Your Barrier by Using Affirmations

At first when you begin to send love waves out to people you do not really care much about, you are bound to feel foolish. A part of your mind will ask you what on earth do you think you are doing? This doubting portion of your mind is your ego. You need to understand that the ego feeds on negative emotions. Pride, anger, guilt, these are all manifestations of your ego. So when you connect to your higher self with love and decide to heal your life, you are essentially kicking the ego out.

Naturally the ego must fight for survival. This is why it causes you to doubt your actions, thoughts and words. The truth is that when you embrace love, you will find that it flows out from you and returns to you from other people. There is no place for the ego in such a set up. So accept its shenanigans and lovingly let them go. The relationships in your life will turn more loving and will in turn make you a happier and healthier person.

Divine Wisdom is My Right

Have you ever felt that you needed to do more than what you were doing, but didn’t know what it was? That while your life seemed to be on track on the surface, there was something more boiling below that you couldn’t quite grasp? Lightworkers often feels this way till their true life purpose is revealed to them.

Emotional, psychological, spiritual, physical and financial issues can all be addressed effectively with divine wisdom. While most of us are very good at giving advice, we tend to buck the bit while getting advice, even when it is coming from our higher self. Unfortunately this reluctance results in a lack of divine wisdom flowing smoothly through our lives.

Open Yourself to Receive

The ego is happy to give because it feels superior in the transaction, but does not receive anything easily especially when it comes to the higher self. If you become aware of the true nature of your own higher self, you will discard the ego based self that you believe you are today. This will end the existence of the ego and this is why it does not allow you to be receptive of divine guidance from the universe and your higher self.

In order to have access to divine wisdom to heal your life you need to open yourself to receiving. Be open to different signs or symbols that the universe shows you. If you see a sign repeatedly but cannot understand how it relates to you, do not be afraid to ask the universe for a clarification.  The universe is not going to get angry or upset like your teacher in school. It is a loving presence in your life with infinite patience.

How Meditation Helps

If you keep asking the universe questions but never seem to get answers, think if you have really listened for them. When you are in conversation with a regular person after you ask your question you would wait for the person to respond by paying attention to them. Did you pay attention to what the universe was trying to say to you with a calm mind? Use the Law of Attraction to get your answers.

Any form of meditation calms the mind. You can use whichever form suits you the best. Chakra cleansing meditation, thought calming meditation, candle or flame meditation, use whichever you feel most comfortable with. Try to schedule your ten minutes of daily meditation at roughly the same time each day. The consistency will help you connect to the universe and your higher self with greater ease.

What Should You Ask

There is no problem too small or too great for divine wisdom. There is no right or wrong question to ask. Ask what is closest to your heart first. As the responses come in pay attention to what you are being guided with love to do. If you feel that it may not be the best course of action, ask for confirmation. Should the same loving messages come to you, try to follow the guidance given to you.

When you have exhausted your own questions and still want to channel divine wisdom, ask what you need to know. That is when more messages from your higher self will become available to you. Do not be afraid of guidance that asks you to make changes in your life. No one can interfere with your own free will. Even after receiving guidance you need to take action for any real changes to reflect in your life. Start with small implementable steps and watch how they affect your life. Your smaller successes will urge you onwards to bigger ones. 

Affirm to yourself, “I am open to receiving divine wisdom to live my highest purpose.”

Love and light always…