Breathe Life into a Toxic Relationship

Sometimes you may feel that the relationships that are closest to you are the ones that are turning the most toxic. They leave you feeling heavy hearted and drained. The joy you once felt in spending time with that person is now diminished by petty squabbling. The love that you expressed so freely once is now getting stifled behind the wall of expectations that you have erected.  You would like to fix it, but you have no idea where to start.

You Start With Yourself!

The world as we experience it is nothing more than an extension of our own thoughts. Our manner of thinking affects everything. If you believe that a person is out to get you, you will begin to suspect ulterior motives for every action that person takes. If you believe that a person is out to harm you, you will automatically become jumpier around the person. So if you believe that an old loving relationship has turned toxic, then it is again you, who is turning the thoughts in that negative direction.

Love also must come first from within.

When you begin accepting love and joy into your life you change the way you think. If you are sure in your heart that the world is a loving place and that you are safe to be your true self here, you will experience a drastic shift in the way your so called toxic relationship is going. Begin with loving yourself. Say the simple but popular affirmation that Louise Hay has given you, “I love and approve of myself.” Say it to yourself in front of a mirror each time you cross one. Say it to yourself a hundred times a day. Say it when you close your eyes at night to sleep. Say it till you well and truly believe it.

 Be your own best friend

Stop expecting the other person to fix all your problems. Be self reliant, its not someone else’s job to look after you all the time. Know your boundaries with the other person. Don’t expect to do something for them in order to have them do something in return. That will always make you feel short changed and cheated. If you want to do something out of a desire from your heart, go ahead, but don’t feel guilty and do stuff. Keep the promises you make, especially the ones that you make to yourself. Remember if you are being good to yourself, you expect others to be good to you too.

Trust, respect, protectiveness, and love all go together. That said, it is never a one way street, both people have to be equally committed to the relationship to make it work. Make yourself available for the person with whom you are having relationship issues. Communicate how you feel and also listen to why they are behaving in the manner that they are. Give and take is the best way to solve any situation. A healthy compromise can go a long way in fixing a toxic relationship.