Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

This Polish Proverb has been inspiring me to de-clutter my life. There is so much happening all around us every day that it is impossible to hold yourself aloof from it all. Whether you want to get involved or not, you will be made aware of a number of issues that are floating around. It could be issues with your spouse’s workplace, or something that’s happening at your child’s school, maybe your household help has problems, perhaps it is your colleague who s going through a trying life event,  or just a random neighbour having a bad day. If you have become a sounding board for the person experiencing these issues, you find yourself being dragged into things that have nothing to do with you.

They expect you to listen with a sympathetic ear and even solve the problems as though you are some magician who can wave a magic wand and solve the world’s problems. Then they make you feel guilty when you are unable to do just that impossible deed. The fact is, it is not something you need to get involved in, ever.  It does not make you a bad person if you choose not to try and solve the world’s problems. It does not make you a bad mother just because you choose to finish cooking before you help your child with their science fair project. It does not make you a terrible friend if you decide to put your needs before your friend’s need to talk about her latest issues. It is okay to do what you want to with your time. If you choose to lend someone a shoulder to cry on, that’s okay as well because you chose to do it.

No one has the right to bully or guilt you into doing something that they want. Do not think of yourself as helpless. You are the most powerful force of existence in your life. You decide every second of the day just what you are going to experience next. Borrowing trouble is not the way to a peaceful existence. Help if you want to, but not because you feel obligated to. There is no reward or punishment for pushing back your own needs and desires to help others. The world has been functioning just fine for a very long time before you were born, and will go on in the same manner even after you are no longer alive. All you get to do is live out the few short decades of your life in the best possible manner that suits yourself and your life purpose.

Each time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s nonsense, just repeat to yourself “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” This will help you maintain focus on what you really need to be involved with and what situations you must avoid at all costs! Start living for yourself, not for the dramas playing out in the lives of people all around you. Live true to your life purpose, and acting as an umpire for others games is not what you are here to do!