How Much Happiness Do You Deserve?

When asked this question most people will not be sure what to reply. Some will say a whole lot, others may say as much as I am destined to get. A few may be dumbfounded as they have no answer to give. The truth is that we control the amount of happiness in our lives with our own thoughts and attitudes. In fact most of us limit the amount of happiness in our lives using unconscious thoughts that come from the limiting beliefs woven into the fabric of our lives.

Recently I was recommended a book called The Big Leap written by author Gay Hendricks. In the book the author explains that we think we deserve only so much happiness and if life threatens to take us above that threshold, we sabotage ourselves. I am yet to read the book, but I was fascinated by the concept it described. I even began to see how I was applying these limiting beliefs to various aspects of my own life. I had set up thresholds in each part of my life and every time I tended to cross over one I would actually sabotage myself. Consider these examples –

Weight Threshold : While I would love to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight somewhere at the back of my head is a barrier. It takes the form of a limiting belief that once a woman gives birth to a child she will always carry a few extra kgs.

Money Threshold : I know I can attract as much money as I wish into my life, but I feel guilty for trying to get more than I feel I deserve. What’s worse, I know I deserve more, but somehow the guilt just doesn’t seem to abate.

Health Threshold : Every time the season’s change I fall ill. Even when I have no wish to, this childhood conditioning thought that my mother used to repeat just stays with me. So when its change of season time, I have get sick.

Happiness Threshold : If you laugh too much you will have to cry. This was a sentence that was commonly spoken in our home when I grew up. Even today I feel worried when I am laughing too loud or too long. I wonder what will happen to make me cry next.

We should not feel worried about being happy. No one wants us to fall sick. As children of the universe we can draw as much abundance we want into our lives. Then…

Why do we put up barriers to our own happiness? Mostly it is because we don’t even know we are doing it. No one would purposefully keep abundant health and wealth away from their lives. However how many of your own limiting beliefs and barriers are you actually aware of?

For your own good do this exercise. Make a list of any limiting beliefs that act as barriers to the flow of abundance into your life. Now challenge each of these barriers and visually watch them crumble leaving a free flowing path from the abundance of the universe to your self.

Affirm : Only the best comes to me!

Metaphysical Laws : The Law of Attraction

The world is your oyster! If your mind can conceive it, you can achieve it. The Law of Attraction is not part of any religion. It is simply a metaphysical law that is a universal truth. People from all lands and languages have used it to great effect in their lives. People claim to have had miraculous transformations in their lives when they used the Law of Attraction to focus on a specific problem area in their lives. So what are these mystical metaphysical laws?


Metaphysical Laws

In science we have laws or principles that provide us with explanations of  how things work. For instance the Law of Gravity tells us about the principle of a body of mass attracting things around its sphere of influence to itself. This force with which it pulls things is called gravity. It has a measurable component and the law is universal, or holds true for all tests conducted. In a similar manner metaphysics deals with other laws that science has not yet been able to verify. However that does not mean that these laws do not exist. There is just no tangible scientific proof available right now. Although with the number of researchers working to prove them it is just a matter of time before they can be established as scientific laws as well. The lack of scientific proof does not make these laws any less effective. Ask anyone who has experimented with the Law of Attraction.

How the Law of Attraction works

The Law of Attraction is a metaphysical law which helps the user attract what he is thinking about. It is based on the principle "like attracts like". So if you worry about something constantly you are fueling it with energy to come true. For instance if you worry about missing your bus, plane, train or any other ride all the time, you will have a history of missing your ride. In case you worry about falling sick when you get wet in the rain, you will have a history of catching a chill every time it rains and you get wet. If you feel you are just able to scrape through and make ends meet, you have a history of being broke at the end of each month. Now if you turn the worry around into a positive statement, also known as an affirmation, you will be able to attract what you really want into your life. For instance if you say to yourself I always make it to my ride with time to spare, you will not miss so many rides. If you say to yourself every cell in my body is full of vibrant health, you will not fall ill quite so often. If you say I enjoy the many blessings money brings into my life, you will have enough cash to buy everything you want.

Why doesn't it seem to be working?

For those who want to use the Law of Attraction to improve the quality of their own lives, this is a reminder to use affirmations correctly. It is not just enough to say the affirmation to yourself, you really need to believe that the universe will grant your desire. There is no room for doubt. Just like a dog can smell the fear on you, the universe can sense your doubt and refuse to give you what you are asking for. There is no abundance forthcoming when you are seeped in desperation. Instead of despairing for what you do not have, show gratitude for you do have. Then take the next step and be already grateful for the desire you have expressed as having already come to pass. With loving gratitude you can literally win the universe over and have whatever your heart desires.

Affirm to yourself - "Only the best comes to me! Abundance flows into my life with ease and grace!!" 

Moving from Fear to Trust

The Law of Attractions states that we will bring what we think about into our lives. Affirmations are supposed to make it easier for us to do this. However, when most people first begin using the Law of Attraction, they feel that none of their affirmations seem to work. They seem to be doing everything as per plan - think of positive affirmations, repeat them daily and wait for their desires to come true. Unfortunately they also harbour inner feelings of worry that the universal spirit is not going to answer or disbelief that they can actually get all these goodies in their lives without working really hard to get them. These feelings act as a barrier and don't allow the universe to send these people what they are affirming for.

 “I go beyond barriers into possibilities” Louise L. Hay's affirmation in her book Heal Your Life Meditations can help overcome this problem.

Leave Your Comfort Zone

Each one of us has tested our limits as a young child. Think back to remember what a fearless baby you were. Then you fell, got cut on sharp edges, burnt by fire, and a whole lot more. Your sense of invulnerability disappeared behind the reality of physical hurts and pain. The new experiences insisted that you define a safe zone where you would not get hurt. This became your comfort zone. Within its limitations you knew you could not get hurt, unfortunately within this comfort zone you cannot experience change, and that is essentially to growing spiritually. Only when you are willing to change by releasing your old limiting beliefs and leaving your comfort zone behind can you truly harness the power of the Law of Attraction.  

Fear and Trust are Two Sides of the Same Coin

Once you leave your comfort zone, you leave fear behind and begin to trust that the universe will provide your needs for you. This begins with little steps like asking for a free parking spot when you go to the market or perhaps having a book available to borrow in the library. With each wish that gets fulfilled you begin to develop a stronger measure of trust that the universe does care, and will respond to your affirmations. Then you can scale up what you ask for to include anything from a free holiday in Goa to a great deal when buying a car. You could even affirm for your ideal home and even a soul mate. Go crazy and ask for whatever you want as long as you trust that the universe will give you what you require.

This or Something Better

When asking the universe for something you have to trusts that “mother knows best”. Just like a loving mother will not give an infant what he wants, but instead what he needs, the universe too will bring to you what you need in a timely manner. You may be fixated on a certain request that doesn’t seem to be getting fulfilled, but the universe may be working on giving you something different. This could be something else that you have not even thought of, and may be much better suited to your current life situation. So when you ask for something from the universe tag on to your affirmation, “…this or something better.”

Affirm, "I am open to all possibilities that help me live my highest purpose!"

Your Feelings Matter

Your feelings affect your state of mind and your mind influences your body. The mind is a powerful tool which can suggest to the body that it no longer feels any pain, when it ingests a placebo. Similarly the mind can also convince the body that it is unwell beyond belief even when there is nothing physically wrong with you. This is why a hypochondriac is convinced that he is desperately unwell even when all tests are normal. This is all the Law of Attraction in play.

“You can heal what you feel.” – Louise L Hay

Our feelings are always churning in our mind. A situation is neither positive nor negative, but your attitude and feelings make it so. If you are feeling happy you will enjoy even the rainy and cloudy days, but if you are unhappy even a day full of sunshine can be a hot and sweaty trial. An optimist has positive feelings for the majority of the time and thus is able to manifest positive experiences most of the time. No one can be optimistic all the time, there can be doubts and tribulations present which may make your feelings take your mind in circles.

The Revolving Door of Your Feelings

Think about the revolving door that you must enter and move through to find yourself inside the building. If you take too long to exit the revolving door you may end up stepping off just where you started. If you get scared to step out you will find yourself going round and round in the revolving door for a very long time. However if your judgment is correct and you make the right decision you will safely land on the opposite side of the revolving door.

Your feelings are just like this revolving door. If you keep thinking about the feelings all the time you will be unable to step forward. If you decide not to resolve your feelings you get stuck where you are and cannot make any progress. It is only when you ride through the feelings and resolve them do you successfully get to the other side and can move on.  

Honour Each Feeling

When we are happy we have no qualms sharing that feeling with the world. We announce this strong feeling with great ease but if it is a negative emotion such as anger, fear, sadness, jealousy, or frustration we cannot express it with ease. Your negative feelings are as much a part of you as your positive feelings but we are trained from childhood to hide these socially unacceptable emotions. Don’t try to push them into a box and close the lid on them just because you are not proud of them. You are only human and are expected to have some less than savory feelings. 

Resolving Strong Emotions

Acceptance is the first step to resolution. Individually accept each positive and negative feeling. A good time to sift through them is when you sit down to meditate. As you sit in a comfortable posture and try to calm your mind pay attention to each thought that comes to your mind. Identify the feeling it arouses in your mind and then trace it to its origin. Find the source and identify the problem. Thank the feeling for being a part of you, and for bringing the problem to your notice, and then respectfully ask it to leave. 

Do this for each feeling that enters your head while you meditate. Some will go right away while others will return the next time you meditate. Just repeat the process each time you meditate, gradually over time you will find that these strong feelings will reduce their intensity. You will be able to calm your mind faster and this will reflect on your physical body and health.

Manifest Your Own Expectations

You are the co-creator of your reality. Every day you make hundreds of small decisions which influence how events shape up around you. If you ever feel that things are not as they should be, you hold the power to change that situation in your own hands. When you are down and out, you may choose to believe that external factors are to blame for your condition. That you are a victim being tossed around in the storm of the world. In your heart you know that is not true. With strong conviction you can make any expectation come true.

Learn to Distinguish Between “Needs” and “Wants”

Our basic expectations are our primary needs – food, clothing and shelter. There is a reason any business catering to these three needs always succeeds. Without these three basic needs being met we have no thought of any other expectations. It is only when our basic needs have been met that we can focus on our wants. 

An orphaned child who begs for sustenance at traffic lights is just looking to feed himself.  That is his basic need. Once his stomach is full he dreams of riding in the fancy cars that pass him by each day. That is something he wants and because he visualizes it so very clearly he is able to achieve this goal later in life creating a “Rags to Riches” story. 

When you consider each of your own individual expectations you will realize that the majority of them fall into the category of wants. This means that all your needs have already been met. So the first thing you must do is show loving gratitude to the Universe for having given you such a blessed existence. Then you may focus on manifesting your expectations.

Visualizing What You Want

The four steps to visualization that have been identified by Shakti Gawain in her book "Creative Visualization" are listed here to help you understand the process. Step one asks that you decide exactly what it is you wish to create in your life. The second step involves creating a clear picture in your mind of what you are creating. The more detailed your mental image the easier it will be to visualize. 

Step three is focusing on this image with a calm mind. You can do this during medication. The last step is to add a positive affirmation to help your creating. You can use the image and the affirmation as a sort of mantra while you mediate in order to send loads of positive energy to what you wish to create.

Tools to Manifest Your Expectations

A dream book is a personal journal of how you would like your life to be. You can add pictures of things you want in the book. Write about the things you want to experience. Flip through the book daily and feel how you would if all these things were already in your life.

A vision board is also a good manifestation tool. Fill up the board with all your expectations. Write, draw or paste pictures of what you want to create in your life. Place it in a position where you can look at it easily every day. 

An affirmations list is also a good way to push positive thoughts to create what you want. Once you write down your list of affirmations stand in front of the mirror and repeat it to yourself. Each affirmation needs to be repeated 50 times. This is a very powerful technique and does not take more than ten minutes a day. If you are really serious about creating a new life for yourself, you can surely spare ten minutes each day to manifest it.